Author: sm75wright

Sometimes we can be sat at work and a comment can fly past our ears that takes us back to being 13 years old and in the classroom. Often disguised as banter, casual comments can sting, hurt or put us in a place where we feel excluded, as if we are the outsider and that our differences are merely tolerated at best.

The other week, we were talking casually about a musty smell in the office (turned out to be paint) and we got onto the topic of leaving clothes in the washing machine too long and ending up damp (I know riveting right). My colleague said “it’s something all men do”. Anyway I said “oh I never do that” to which a colleague replied “well you’re not a real man!” Hold up wait a minute, what did you just say should have been my response but instead I just laughed nervously and tried to be witty. It wasn’t till later that I thought hang on, you’ve just singled me out, made fun of me and all in the name of banter. At the time i thought am I being over sensitive, would a sassy reply suffice or if I said “actually what do you mean by that, are you saying my masculinity is not the same because I am gay?” Would that have just been met with defensiveness and “oh it was only a joke don’t take yourself seriously”. As LGBTQI people, sometimes we can make excuses for other people’s ignorance, to brush it aside, to respond wittingly or just brush it off, but sometimes it gets to us, and we need to be honest about that.

Homophobia in the workplace can be blatant and ferocious but more often it’s subtle, disguised as banter or simply used a way of excluding people. How many of us have been sat in work or joined a new team and never have been asked if we are dating/married/have a partner/kids, whilst our straight counterparts this can be the first question asked. Maybe that’s awkwardness or a presumption that because we are gay then we must have a certain lifestyle. Maybe I am over generalising but it’s interesting. In the middle of a conversation someone once said to me, “oh you wouldn’t understand as you’ll never have kids”. Boom, excluded, presumptions made. That might be an innocent comment but the effect screams “you are different”. The workplace like high school wants people to subscribe into their selected roles, to fit into boxes and as a gay person you can think I need to hide who I am to get ahead. To butch it up, to not reveal to much about myself, to be that enigma that all I am known for is being good at my job.

In television it can help to be outwardly camp and be all about the fun. Many a female producer will surround herself with a harem of “outrageous” gay men who hang on her every word and enjoy a bitch and a gossip. Nothing wrong with that, but just make sure you are being true to yourself and not performing to please. So often as gay men we feel the need to perform, to put on a show, to be witty and fabulous and sometimes it’s great and other times we just simply can’t be bothered. Allow people to see a multifaceted version of yourself and allow some vulnerability to shine through. That especially can be hard in the cut throat world of telly but you’ll be surprised how people respond to your true self. Whoever you are, you will always feel more comfortable in work if you are accepted for who you are.

“Oh it’s really obvious you are gay” I heard a month a so ago by a colleague who I was just randomly chatting to about nothing much in particular. Well I am gay I thought should I be ashamed of that? I’ve had friends and colleagues being talked about in the opposite way “oh you’d never know he was gay” “it’s such a shame he’s so straight acting”. It’s as if some people’s ideas of what gay people is narrowed to certain stereotypes and in a way that makes them feel more comfortable.

An old boss used to call me, different, theatrical, and proud and any other 1950s euphemism for gay. I think what really irked him was that I was secure with myself, I was unapologetic for who I was, I was quite a private person but never ashamed of who I was. My openness felt like a threat to him, particularly when the other gay men and women in the office kept themselves very much to themselves and kept their private lives very private. I guess I have no poker face, wear my heart on my sleeve and throw myself into situations in a positive lively manner. But I have always been open and honest with who i am. What I came to realise was the issue was his issue, I haven’t changed, I’m not ashamed and I’m confident and he couldn’t accept that. Hey ho shake it off!

Sometimes with other gay men in the office it can feel like territory is being marked, the “only gay in the office” syndrome. I’ve seen it where men are either lusted and dissected or dismissed because they don’t conform. As gay people we need to accept and acknowledge people for who they are. It’s equally as damaging to put our fellow gays into boxes that aren’t really them. A colleague introduced themselves to me as “the queen of the gay mafia” once which made me giggle a bit and I replied hi, but I thought this was about saying who’s boss, and reminding me that I was new. It’s interesting as I’ve never really been bothered by cliques, I like people, I get on with people but I don’t need to be part of a gang to feel secure. Sometimes that goes against the grain in the office environment.

If you hear things that offend you, make you feel uncomfortable or exclude you then do speak out. Acknowledge that that comment has offended you. Educate the person. I have said “thank you for your casual homophobia” a couple of times and that’s thrown people. If people are saying things that are about you or about LGBTQI people then speak up if you can, explain why you find this offensive. I had a debate with someone once who was saying “how gay” a TV presenter was and how he “behaved in a really gay way”. I pulled them up on that and made them see that they were using gay In a really negative way and by describing this person as offensive they were saying the same about me. You may not feel comfortable about saying something directly, but make a note of the comments, find someone you can trust and talk about it with them, speak to HR about it as there will be procedures and policies in place to deal with this. The wonderful Stonewall who do amazing work have a whole section on their site about this,
http://www.stonewall.org.uk/at_work/individuals/workplace_discrimination/default.asp

As more and more people come out in senior work roles Tim Cook from Apple being the latest, this can only send a positive message. Look for role models in your organisation, chat to them about how they got ahead, talk to them about how they coped with things, and what spurred them on. I think it’s always important to have a role model or a mentor. If you can get one then it’s worth it.

Always be your self, be unapologetic for who you are. Focus on your work and doing a good job. Appreciate what’s important to you and you will find your way.

So the advert for that traineeship/apprenticeship job is memorised in your head. You know when the deadline is. You’ve gone online, you’ve read through all the information, you’ve even looked over your CV a gazillion times and had an open debate with yourself about whether you are good enough. So what’s stopping you? That dreaded application form that’s what. It’s like a high school exam, plus a dissertation, plus an encyclopaedic recital of all you know.. And you’ve got to get it right otherwise this one and only opportunity will never be yours.

Well sit yourself down, find a comfy seat, plump up those cushions, take a deep breath, grab a cup of tea and focus on the task at hand. Before you embark on the form though, here are a few hints and tips as to what makes a good application form, and what makes somebody stand out from amongst the crowd.

Are your details correct?

Now this is a basic one, but you’d be surprised. In the rush to get all their experience, knowledge, wit and wisdom down on the form, people can mistype their email address or phone number. Triple check this. If we want to bring you in for an assessment day or interview and your email address and phone number don’t work, well we are not necessarily going to send a letter, turn up at your front door, or stalk you to your local bar on the off chance you’ll come in for a gin and tonic. So make sure they are correct. If you are in the interview process or going through to the next round or still in application stage and your details change then let us know. People lose phones, numbers change or that email address had to be changed as somehow Beckylovessteve@gmail.com didn’t ring true anymore. Don’t put yourself out of the running by something so simple as us not being able to get hold of you.

Think about what your email address says about you as well. At school or college it can be an in joke or a personal statement about your love for One Direction but when applying for jobs you need to be professional. No references to pop bands, boyfriends/girlfriends, violent references or even just simply fluffybunny@gmail.com. You may be “super hot” and with an amazing “sexual prowess” but let that not be reflected in your email address when applying for a job.

Spelling and grammar

Nothing frustrates us more or makes us giggle than when you read a paragraph confidently written about an individuals attention to detail splattered with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. Spell check, get someone to read it and triple check. Also if you are talking about individuals be they famous or not or the person who is recruiting check their names are spelt correctly. It might seem inconsequential to spell Ann without an E but not

If you are dyslexic or need extra time or support, please declare it and make it known. Additional support by law needs to be provided. You really need to do this at the start of the process, it won’t be held against you.

Be yourself

So many people try and be something that they aren’t whilst doing an application form. It’s as if they take on this whole new identity, speak a whole new fancy business language and somehow try and posh it up a bit. Now I do get why people do this and it’s that need to impress, but how do you know what will impress the person reading? Isn’t it easier to just be yourself and talk passionately about what you want to do and what you’ve done? It’s as if some people have swallowed a dictionary, that might me being dumb but when faced with a fancy schmanzy big word I always think first of all I don’t understand it and secondly when I do understand it couldn’t they have just used “could” instead. Use plain English and speak eloquently but not waffling, re read your sentences and hone them down so you can honestly say “yes that makes perfect sense”.

Be proud of your achievements and don’t be apologetic about them, no matter what they are. I have read a lot of applications that start of with “I don’t have the right experience but..” Well hell to the no with that. All that does is ring around the readers head that you can’t do something.. No matter what potential you have. Don’t draw attention to things that you feel that you don’t have, instead highlight your qualities, achievements and how they would benefit the role. Always tie everything back in a positive way to what you are applying for. Don’t dumb it down, don’t apologise and don’t be ashamed. Your journey is your journey be proud of it.
On the flip side of things don’t big yourself up too much that it gets far fetched. We can read between the lines and realise you were an admin assistant not MD at a corporate bank aged 18. Unless you have Doogie Howser MD (google it) success at such a young age.

When you read applications particularly for TV jobs, we need to see your personality jump from the page, we need to read your creativity, your passion and a sense of who you are as a person. Don’t be afraid to do that. Now don’t go overboard and tell us how you lost your virginity or use slang but don’t be afraid to be yourself. There is only one you so own it!

Have strong ideas

If the application is asking you for programme ideas, ideas about the company or even pitches, then this is your chance to shine. Be bold and have strong ideas. Don’t rehash what has been done before and don’t re tell the same format over and over again. When asking for programme ideas at the BBC I was often confronted with ideas that were currently or TV or slight twists on current formats (which could be fine but needs more analysis). Also when reading 300 forms and everyone wants Stephen Fry to present their idea, you long for a different name to be mentioned, anybody, somebody new as long as it’s not the same old same old.

If you are talking through an idea make sure it’s clear to everyone. Share it with friends and families and again hone it down until it’s really clear. It might sound brilliant in your head but on paper can read like a geology paper full of academia and not a lot of “why would someone watch that?”

Think about what’s missing from our screens or for non telly roles what that company needs. Try and be bold and different but always tie to back to the audience or the consumer. Why would they watch that programme or consume that product. What’s in it for them. I know at times in our life we can feel like our grasp of the world can be quite sheltered but when thinking about these ideas think beyond your close circle think beyond people you know, your area… You are part of the audience but you are not the audience.

Research your ideas, throw in stats, think why it would be important. Don’t be lazy or self indulgent with this. Pick up the papers, do your research about why something would be of interest. And also equally important why it would be interesting right now..

If you have access, know how something is made, or first hand experience of why this idea is important then throw that all into the mix.

Also think honestly about why you want to work for that company and that scheme. Talk passionately about that. We can tell when people are just doing it for the sake of it or it seemed a good idea at the time. That may be the truth but really think why do I want to be an apprentice? What is it going to do for me. Be realistic about the course and college work as well, mention that you are still eager to learn in the form and that you feel this is the perfect combination of working and studying. Well something like that anyway.

Be creative

Be really creative, share your ideas, be different. Talk about how things would look, how they could be made and why they need to be made.

When sending off applications though being creative can go too far, cupcakes, sending in a front door (that happened at channel 4) or a glamour shot selfie might get you noticed but it might get you noticed for all the wrong reasons. Do what the application tells you to do, no need to chain yourself to the front of the BBC dressed as Wonder Woman, well not at least until you know if you’ve got in.

I often hear from people who are apologetic for that photography course they did, the blog they write, the fact that they can shoot or edit, or whatever it might be. If it’s relevant and can help you get a job then throw it in there. “Oh yeah I speak Spanish” bloody brilliant I say!

Think of different platforms

Be conscious of the way that people consume media in 2014, the different platforms, the different trends. Let your ideas reflect this. Often in TV you might well be interviewed by people who may consume media in a more traditional way but it’s important that all avenues are looked at. Think about the audience, what kind of things you’d want to work on and how that content could reach the audience. Make sure it’s relevant too.

When you are thinking about this think about the audience, would that audience for your idea really watch TV in that way?

Celebrate your differences

Talk openly about your background, how you’ve got to where you are. Never be ashamed of it. A lot of applications will ask about diversity and unserved audiences. It’s not acceptable to say as some people have done and I quote “I’m white, middle class and haven’t really experienced diversity” to which I would respond “oh no you didn’t just say this!” Read the papers, look around you, speak to people for gods sake, get to realise there is life beyond your nose and the comfort of your circles. You’ll be a much better person for it. Look objectively at how people are represented in the media, how we can and should change that. The way I look at it is we can see a million different representations of a white male 40 year old middle class man on TV from holier than thou to murderer. But when a race, sexuality, gender, disability is represented in only one way we are often perpetuating stereotypes. Until there is diverse representation of all then there is much work to be done. Think of it that way.

Take your time

Like your mum would say “don’t leave it till the night before!” Take your time, write it out in word, or hand write it and then rewrite it until it’s perfect. Share it with friends and family and get feedback. No need to rush it out.

Also be mindful of the word count if it says 200 words, write 200 not 10 as it looks like you can’t be arsed. In the same way don’t write 1000 as it looks like you can’t follow rules.

Good luck with it all, you’ll be great. Just apply, you know you’ll kick yourself later if you don’t!

That person that pushed in front of you as you were boarding the train, well they just had no manners! You raise your eyebrows, maybe even tut and then for the rest of the journey sit there with bitchy resting face. You stew things over and contemplate what a rubbish day you are going to have, it’s as if the whole world is against you.

Your boss is in a bad mood or two of your colleagues are laughing and joking and you automatically think, “is this about me?” Your brain reacts in a way that makes you absorb what’s going on as a reflection of you. My boss is in a bad mood, I must have done something wrong, they are off to lunch they don’t like me, I texted two hours ago, they haven’t got back to me, I’m going to be dumped. We all do it. We create this negative cycle of drama and sometimes because we believe it we project it and sometimes it comes true.

We make things out to be one way without actually knowing the facts. Your boss may simply be in a bad mood about a range of things. If you haven’t done something or haven’t done something properly then the likelihood is that they would tell you so. They have just gone to lunch because they want to, it’s not about you and if it is let them! You’re better than that. Do what you have to do! Accept the situation for what it is, know what is it true and what isn’t. Sometimes and this sounds silly imagine you’ve got Judge Judy in front of you, what would she say.. She’d want evidence.

Now a lot of this stems from a feeling of quite simply feeling not good enough. We can manifest that in a multitude of ways. The over confident, out for themselves person in the office is probably the one who feels it’s more than others. Don’t be fooled by a loud voice and smoke and mirrors of bravado. It’s often a mechanism to say hey look at me I’m doing a great job! We look for excuses and make scenarios as to people who don’t like us and reasons for us not getting that promotion. It’s easy to devoid yourself of responsibility because then it’s always going to be someone else’s fault. Whilst not detracting from bad behaviour in the office and bullying we all have choices in our career and a responsibility to ourselves.

We also revert to our high school roles at times, class clown, bullied, bully, fat girl, prom queen, jock, and a whole lot more. These roles to a certain extent are repeated in the corporate world. Even when we’ve left that world a long time ago situations can automatically take us back to that Janet Jackson loving gay kid who was last to be picked for sports (yes that’s me). We have to remember we are not 14 and that ultimately people’s behaviour is about them not you. Take responsibility if you’ve messed up, mistakes happen, it won’t be so bad as you think! Also it can be hard for the prom queen who after years of adoration gets no attention. At least us freaks and geeks and bullied kids have the resilience to deal with that stuff! You see you can always look at things from a different angle.

So take a deep breath, commuting can be rubbish, people at work can be moody and difficult (I’m sure you can be too) but smile, take it in your stride. Everyone is fighting their own battles so be kind. I find sometimes just making someone a cup of tea or asking them how they are can really diffuse a situation. Don’t make someone else’s drama into your drama you might think you are being helpful and supportive but sometimes you might be fuelling fire. Let them make their own decisions. Offer an ear and some wise words but let them take their own path.

If you are finding yourself consumed by negative patterns talk to a trusted friend, seek help. Break your day into ways that will make it easier for you. Sometimes it can help to write things down. Often when we are feeling at our most anxious writing can help. It may not be immediately clear but it’s good to look back at journals. To see how far you’ve come but also to recognise triggers for your behaviour.

Ask yourself, “is it really about me?

  

  

You’ve maybe been a runner, you are super organised, you love logistics, and you’ve got yourself a bunch of new stationary.. Classy stuff no “my little pony pencil case” however ironic… And you’ve got a job as a production assistant. Your calm manner, and abundance of examples got you through the interview, along with a broad smile and neatly ironed shirt, but now it’s time to prove yourself. On the surface the production team seemed lovely but you second guess yourself and wonder am I prepared for being at the cut and thrust of production.. Do I really have what it talks to be the kind of production assistant that everyone wants to work with, that knows where everyone is, who everyone is and that they are doing what they are supposed to be doing..? You’ll have heaps of support but here are a few tips to make yourself stand out as a production assistant.

Know your excel and love your spreadsheets

Love a spreadsheet, love excel, be the type of person who makes lists and documents everything. That might sound uptight, but everything is accountable on a production so get to grips with excel. Now don’t be ruled by a spreadsheet as at times there will be a need for flexibility but there is no use having everything in your head, for no one to find. Share the spreadsheets with your production co-ordinator and manager, show initiative for making things more accountable, easier to find and ultimately help to make their job easier. There is a fine line here, don’t become so obsessed with spreadsheets that you are documenting the teams toilet breaks or you’ve created an excel formula to determine who’s the most attractive on the production, keep it real and keep it useful.

Always think of a way to save money – love the budget

You’ll get pressure from producers and assistant producers about the budget. Your production manager might have just nipped to the shop for a cheese and ham roll when the AP arrives at your desk saying that they need money now for a shoot, and it has to happen now. Ultimately this will be your production manager’s decision but you might get pressurised to give answers. If possible delay until your production manager is back, but if that’s not an option then think of ways to save money. Think about what’s practical and what’s doable and always come up with creative solutions.

Even for travel and hotels you may get a producer who claims to only travel first class or will only stay in a certain type of place. Explain where the crew are staying, and what you have the budget, sometimes this can be quite self explanatory if there aren’t any other hotels around, but do quote policy in a helpful way not to agitate them. If in doubt then refer up for those kind of decisions. You should always be keeping your production manager in the loop about these kinds of conversations. Do this directly after the conversation as you don’t want to be accused of agreeing something that you didn’t.

Have the kind of mind that’s constantly thinking how can we save money on this programme, still have wonderful output but where can we find savings. Start to have those great negotiation skills to get things cheaper, ask if there would be discounts, have a savvy attitude for a bargain.

Get to know the team and how they think

Immerse yourself in the team, get to know how your production manager works and what they expect of you. Keep them informed of where you are with work. You don’t need to be there every five minutes seeking approval, like a child who’s just done their maths homework but do keep them updated.

Get to know the editorial team, their style, how they work, their schedule and what makes them tick. Don’t be a stalker or be overly familiar as that could freak them out, but show an interest. This can really help make your job easier.

Love booking travel

Learn to love booking travel, where the best place for that hire car is, what train they’ll need to get to start filming at 9am. Which hotel is going to be most convenient for filming. Also learn from mistakes know the history, oh if they get that train then there will be three changes and they’ll have all the camera equipment with them and that’s going to annoy them. Or that hotel last time someone complained about noise as its above a club.. Was that just that person or will it just be safer to book them somewhere else. All these things which at first might seem insignificant can really make you shine.

Don’t be a teacher – offer creative solutions

You have responsibility, you are working with the production manager to ensure the programme comes in on time and to budget. That’s important and great experience for you. It doesn’t make you GOD though and it doesn’t mean you can police the production telling people what they should or shouldn’t be doing, “I said only one sandwich Theresa!” By adopting that attitude so early on in your career its a sure way to piss off the editorial team and for you to be seen as inflexible. Offer creative solutions, listen to the concerns of the editorial team and be realistic, actually they might need another days filming or a later train ticket. Make decisions based on the evidence and if in doubt refer up.

Refer up and respect your production manager

Respect your production manager, they are the heart of any production. Often it can be seen as a stressful and thankless task. They hold all the reins and are often there to support the editorial team not only professionally but sometimes emotionally too. Know what they have to do and support it. Make their life easier. Keep them in the loop and work with them, not against them. Sometimes production assistants with delusions of grandeur have felt that they can do a better job, and they have made decisions or promises without knowing the bigger picture or the rationale behind the original decision. Yes, you want to impress the producer and you want them to see you as being a star, but don’t do that to the detriment of your production manager.. Respect them and they will respect you. Oh and when you see them stressed out make them a cup of tea and do get them a vanilla slice.

Remain calm..

The key to being a good production assistant is to remain calm, love a crisis.. Don’t get whipped up in the drama, rather see through it and see obvious practical solutions. The team are on location and the contributor is no where to be found or they’ve got two days filming on the Yorkshire moors in July and it hasn’t stopped raining all week.. Think about practical ways to help and calm them down. Be supportive and assist them but ultimately remain calm and aim for solutions. At times you might want to curse them all out and bemoan their stupidity, do that later in the pub with your non telly friends, that might be a natural response but tutting and I told you so won’t win you any favours.

Know that you are at the heart of production.

People are often blinded by the perceived glamour of being a researcher, or a producer, it’s the exciting bit or so they think. Remember though as a production assistant you are integral to a production. You are at the heart of it and you see the production from start to finish. Your role is key to the programme. You might not think that some days but know that it is. Going through the ranks of production management will give you amazing skills, sort out your time management and efficiency and ultimately put you in a pool where there are longer contracts and more jobs..

You are sat at home with a cup of tea, casually dunking your biscuit carefully enough not to lose half of it in your cup. As you lounge in your zebra print onesie watching some cheesy movie you think to yourself I’d love a job in TV but something metaphorically slaps you in the face and says “you’re just not cool enough!”

You think I’m not thin enough, not good looking enough, not smart or witty enough.. I just can’t do the banter! You develop a picture in your head of what it’s like to work in TV without actually knowing the truth. I’ve met lots of people over the years that are keen to break into TV and I hear constantly a barrage of reasons why they won’t think they’d get in. Very rarely do people say I don’t have the work ethic, or I don’t think I’d have the ideas or I can’t shoot and edit, often they know that they can do all of that and all of that well. There is another barrier that is stopping them moving forward it’s this invisible barrier of cool. What even does cool mean? We are surrounded by images and ideas of cool from a young age and there is always that person in school who we emulated or secretly wanted to know how they were so cool. Those were the people that life seemed so easy and effortless but scratch beneath the surface things are never really quite what we believe them when it comes to other people. Our reality of their lives are often very different from their own day to day reality.

We’ve often been in situations where we know how to respond to a question and can do perfectly eloquently and intelligently but we allow someone else to answer. We have a fear of looking stupid, of not being right, of being a bit of an outsider. Why draw too much attention on yourself? I’ve been there numerous times and then kicked myself later as some over confident buffoon has spouted nonsense for twenty minutes, but in such a manner of authority that you actually believe it to be true. We can all be easily intimidated by other people and our lack of confidence in situations, environments new to us. We play down our strengths to somewhat fit in, or talk less about what we are passionate about if it doesn’t fit in with what other people are interested in. Sometimes that’s just good manners but other times we are deliberately sabotaging our chance to shine.

Try and switch your mind to your qualities and skills think about what you’ve done, what you want to do and what makes you different in a really positive way. We can build up a pattern in our minds about other people being better than us, about employers favouring people different from us, but is that actually true? Statistically you might say that was the case, but they haven’t met you.. So don’t talk yourself out of going for it! At the end of a busy shoot people remember who worked really hard, who got things done, who the contributors and crew thought were invaluable not who has the best handbag or the glossiest hair. Focus on your skills!

Check yourself when you have those thoughts, remember everyone is different, each to their own. Don’t resort to bitchy resting face or judgement, even when that is what you are being faced with. Stick to your own path and who cares, to me coolness is simply somebody comfortable in their own skin. How that individual chooses to manifest their security than that can be in a million different ways.

Even after many years of working I have many moments of feeling not cool, like an outsider, from humming All about the Base whilst everyone is talking about some hipster gig in East London. To cracking jokes at the wrong time, and feeling like I’m wearing the wrong clothes. It happens but I know I’m good at my job, I know who I am and hell yeah I will wear a yellow cardie and dress a bit like Blaine from Glee.. Why not eh?

Find your own path, remember you can bloody do it and most importantly just be you! It’s so so tiresome and time consuming trying to be everyone else. We weren’t meant to blend in, we were meant to be individuals and to shine!

Do your job

Nothing frustrates people more than a runner who constantly moans that they shouldn’t be running and that they are above the tasks that they have been given. I know you have a first degree and your student film has won awards and you really should be researching art history for high brow documentaries, but you’re not so deal with it. Do each task even if it’s making a cup of tea or running down the road to Starbucks with a smile and a sense of enthusiasm. You might not think it but we see it when you purse your lips and roll your eyes, or look at your fellow runners with the expression that simply reads “oh for f*** sake”.

What really frustrates managers is when they realise that their runners are off networking or hustling for research roles when they still have a million and one things to do. Networking is great but get the day job done. Inform your production manager or co-ordinator if you are off to meet people so it doesn’t just look like you’ve disappeared and you don’t care.

Runners often make the mistake of thinking the only way to impress is to let everyone know that they are not really a runner and can do so much more. That’s great if you can and I’m sure you can, but you need to phrase that carefully as it can look really disrespectful and as if you think you are above the tasks you’ve been hired to do! Remember you chose to be a runner and you were fully aware of what was involved and where this could potentially take you. So embrace it do the best job you can and quit your bitching and your moaning.
No matter how skilled or talented you may be, delusions of grandeur don’t do you any favours!

Get to know people

You need to build relationships naturally and show that you are a great runner. Sometimes by simply making someone a cup of tea or performing mundane tasks can really create a great impression. People really appreciate a good team player.

Don’t frog march yourself to the most senior person in the room and launch into an extensive monologue about how wonderful you are. This is a not a movie where that seems to work, you know “this is what I can do” speech whilst a 90s r n b ballad builds crescendo in the background. In real life it just annoys people. Be aware of other people and what’s going on with them. Nothing is more frustrating and rude when you are in the middle of something to be blind sided by an over ambitious runner. Also be mindful of boundaries and people’s personal space. We are not in a nightclub at 2am about to hook up, so step back and let’s be professional.

Do your job well, ask to help out on shoots, spot things that need doing that perhaps people don’t have time to do, that will really help. Chat causally to people in the kitchen, or the lift or on a night out but always ask them questions, don’t make it all about you. Showing an interest in someone else’s career is not only flattering but is a great way to build a professional relationship.

Let People know what you want to do the right way

Slip casually into conversation that you can self shoot, speak Arabic or have contacts that will get you access to access to inside Wandsworth prison. Remember this needs to be relevant and you need to think as to how this is going to benefit the production. If you see people stressing about booking a translator for example and you speak the language fluently offer your services, it not only shows initiative but can save the production money. In terms of camera skills, productions might be reluctant to let you lose with a camera but don’t take that personally, they will appreciate the offer. If you have a showreel then send it to them, just to really emphasise your skills. Remember though if you are offering your skills up that you are not sherking your runner responsibilities. Keep your production manager involved and if needs be stay late, come in early to get everything you need to do done. It’s all about being a team player, think on this ocassion Michelle Williams rather than Beyonce.. You are supporting the programme being made and helping in every way you can but you are not leading it.

Do stuff – stay late, offer to do weekend shifts but get involved – use your spare time to build up your skills. Show an interest, offer to help out and ultimately show flexibility and keenness.

Love The output or if you don’t fake it like you do

Love the programme you are making or if you don’t fake it, of if you really can’t fake it then smile and say nothing. I’ve heard stories and witnessed runners slagging off the programme and it’s format, whilst it might not be something that you choose to watch you are being employed to work on the programme so show respect. Never ever slag of the contributors particularly within ear shot, and definitely not in the studio. If you all go to the pub and these conversations happen and senior members of staff are leading these conversations then even then I would be mindful of coming across like a bitch. If you can chat about previous episodes, or your knowledge of the format that’s great but be careful you don’t come across too much like a fan. I know on big shows producers are conscious of employing fans as often they feel that they will be distracted from their job by their simple geekdom and obsession for being on the show. I would have been a nightmare if I’d worked on Dawson’s Creek.

Make your own mentors.

Find people that you connect with, maybe people that have been through the runner journey and have now progressed onto more senior roles, and ask them about their experiences. If you are at a networking event and you meet someone, ask them about their journey, and ask their permission if you can keep in touch and meet up. Again be mindful of boundaries but you can do this in a respectful way. People often like to help people starting out in their careers so be open to that, remember to develop the relationship naturally but don’t pretend to be best mates. Pick someone who’s career you want and ask them how they got there.

Don’t throw your fellow runners under the bus

I’ve seen this a lot in television, “oh Sarah was asked to do this but she didn’t so I did it”. Or runners not forwarding in information, sabotaging information, spreading rumours that someone is rubbish at their job and just some general bitchy passive aggressiveness all done with a smile. This does not wash with me. Get ahead on your own merits not by bringing some down. This is not Game of Thrones. Now this has worked for some people and some former nightmare runners have hugely successful careers in the industry, but you yes you were not raised that way and have more self respect. Remember as your career develops so will your peers. If someone was vile to you as a runner then you are not necessarily going to employ them in later life so remember karma. Also managers can often see when someone is being thrown under the bus and when bad behaviour happens. Managers want runners to work as a flawless cohesive team and they will spot any cracks. It’s often the runner that stays out of drama, remains professional and focuses on the job that they remember.

Make a change

Sometimes it can feel that you’re just so good at your job that people don’t want to promote you, or no one is moving on in your team and you feel a bit stifled and stuck at a level. Look clearly at what your options are and what you can do to change. If it’s not working, ask yourself why? What can you do now to make that change? If it’s really not working then look outside that organisation, be honest with yourself, don’t beat yourself up and open up your options and horizons.

You know where you want to be, you know what you can do, so why is no one giving you the chance? You feel you have the skills, the right attitude and you are so hungry for success that you are acting like an excited X Factor contestant on four expressos,  over analysing  your journey and equally getting frustrated at not being given a shot! So what do you do? How do you get what you want? How do you give yourself the best chance that you can?

Be patient

Those old sayings of “patience is a virtue” and the re-tellingly of the tortoise and the hair story can get on your nerves but they do have merit. In the rush of wanting everything now you can blind yourself to the bigger picture. You forget to stop, take a breath, sit yourself down and ask “is this really what I want” and “do I want it now?” When you are so consumed with getting your goal, your dream job, then all your energies go on the end goal and you forget to take baby steps. You need to start thinking what two things or three or four things can I do this week to get me there. It can be as simple as emailing four people, or researching four companies. Set yourself these goals every week and you’ll start to have a more planned step to success. You still need to be driven and focused but you need to be mindful that things may not change over night. That’s why you need to live in the moment, think what can i do today (in my head I can hear Heather Small singing “what have you done today to make you feel proud”). When you are  feeling impatient and to quote the song from the original Charlie and the chocolate factory movie “don’t care how I want it now” all you think is why am I not there? Why is it going wrong? Shift your focus to what you can do right now and let the future unravel. The more you think why is it not happening then this transcends into the way you come across and can often result in a self fulfilling prophecy. So be kind to yourself, stay focused, grab a cup of tea and a custard cream, pat yourself on the back and get on with it.

Plan

It’s always good to have a plan, but remember plans don’t have to be rigid, they can change. Think about looking at where you want to be, then looking at where you are now. Right got me? Start thinking of two things today that can start you on your journey! Imagine you are running a marathon you don’t just jump from never running to running 26 miles the next day, you train and you start slow and build up. If it’s TV that you want to get into think why? What can I offer right now? What makes me stand out, where are my skills? If you are getting rejections,think why am I? What can I do better? What can I change? Is my CV good, does it sell my skills effectively? It’s easy to blame others “it’s a closed shop” “I wouldn’t have fitted in” “it’s all for posh people”. That may or may not be true but develop a thick skin and a f**k you mentality, determination and perseverance always stand you in good stead. It’s what I call the Alexandra Burke syndrome she didn’t get into X factor first time round but came back and won the show! You can do the same!

Do your research, find out the best people to contact, set yourself daily, weekly goals and track it all.. Learn and change stuff if it’s not working but keep at it.

Take chances

Keep your eyes peeled and senses aware for any opportunities. We can focus on “I’ve got to get into the BBC” which is great but miss out on other TV and radio roles, maybe because we don’t know about them or we are being a bit snobby. All experience counts, it’s how you spin it,think about the skills you will develop, the involvement you’ll have in a creative project. If a lesser known company are offering to train you to film and edit then don’t turn that down, those skills are invaluable. Again if you are eyes are so focused on a narrow prize you can neglect to see the range of wonderful opportunities coming up around you. So be vigilant stick to the path but if a new and exciting twist turns up on the road than don’t be afraid to follow it. Jobs aren’t always in London so look at opportunities in other parts of the country or if you live somewhere else start closer to home. Competition is always rife in big cities but try local radio or local tv where you don’t have to uproot yourself and where you can gain new skills. Also if you are struggling with getting interviews start doing things yourself, film, right, blog, get involved in charity films, student work, what you can to plump up your Cv. Start thinking outside the box. Think about transferable skills, different ways in, it might not be what you want to do long term but it’s a foot in the door and that’s always good.

Don’t beat yourself up

If you are not getting interviews, or you are getting interviews but not getting jobs, or if you simply don’t know where to start, then stop beating yourself up. It’s easy to get into that vicious cycle of not being good enough which perpetuates itself into future applications. You can really sense it that someone’s given up or believes they won’t get a job. So switch your thinking, get feedback, think about what you can do differently, and keep your focus. Remember not to take it personally no one is saying they hate you, they are just saying you are not right for that job at that time. That is not your truth forever that’s just the truth for that moment. Be kind to yourself.

Keep in touch

If you meet someone at a networking event or you get invited in for an interview and don’t get a job but had a great experience then keep in touch with that person. Now don’t get all stalker ex on them, “hi I saw on Facebook you were at that club in Hoxton, I was there too”. That will just freak them out. Keep in touch about your progress, tweet them about projects you’ve been involved in. Let them know you watched one of their programmes and loved it. Be positive but not too over familiar, happy but not creepy, they are not your friends but you could be beneficial to them in the future and jobs can come up at any time so keep yourself on their radar.

Re-evaluate your reality

Is it still where you want to be? What you want to do? Are you being swept down a path not of your own choosing? Do you find that you are influenced by what family and friends say and that their good intentions are shaping your choices? Listen to your gut and your heart, what excites you, where is your passion, do you think you are good enough?

If it is no longer what you want to do then accept that and move on. Find where your true passions lie. If it is still what you want to do, ask yourself honestly am I putting the right amount of effort in to it. Your mind will be filled of 101 excuses and practical reasons you are not progressing, or it might be in your opinion everyone else’s fault. Stop that right now and take responsibility for yourself, develop a plan and get on with it! Keep your focus, only you know whether it’s all worth the effort.

Don’t be desperate

It’s great to be enthusiastic and keen but don’t go to far and become obsessed to an unhealthy extent. Don’t be complacent but also don’t be desperate, nobody got time for that. I used to get a lot of emails from people telling me how hard it was to get a job in TV well boo hoo, toughen up and deal with it. Ok now I sound harsh but if the first thing you read from someone wanting your advice or a job with you is a sob story of how hard it has been for them then it’s very off putting. At no point are you saying what you can do for the company just a diatribe of how can you help me.. Well businesses are not there to help you, so you need to up your game. Even if you think oh my goodness I’m never going to get there then don’t show it when contacting people. Keep it positive, keep to relevant and talk about what you can do, not what you’ve found hard. If you are going to talk about a struggle then frame it positively to show what you’ve done to make up for that struggle or what you’ve done to counter act it.

Everyone faces rejection, things don’t always come easy, but see this as a learning experience, a test of do you really want this. Be kind, be smart, be focused and keep that ambition and drive that’s so important. Get a mentor if you can, talk through stuff, open your mind to doing things differently and I know you’ll get there. Good luck.

I was reading an article recently where Jon Hamm of Mad Men fame was being interviewed. He talked about his high school, and one of the remarkable things that they did. Every lunch time, every day as a student you were assigned seats. Each day a different seat, each day sat next to a different person. So for that hour, you made an effort to speak to someone different. The jocks, the prom queens, the geeks and those perceived as different were all mixed together away from cliques. You had the opportunity to chat to people beyond your clique, to strike up a friendship with people you may not consider being friends with. How marvellous I say!
I am blessed with wonderful friends and I thrive on meeting interesting people. I don’t care where you are from, what you look like, or what you do for a living, but do we connect can we chat, can we laugh. Isn’t that the essence of human interaction!

I’ve had wonderful conversations with strangers from the taxi drivers who diverge from football talk and open up to me about their marriages and fears for their kids. To the person on the train reminiscing to a time where things seemed simpler and kinder. It’s always good to listen, to put your ego and thoughts aside and truly absorb what someone is saying. In this rich tapestry of life it truly pays to listen.

In 2010 I was in Phoenix, Arizona (not Texas as I put on Facebook at the time) to see one of my besties Craig perform the lead in the musical Nine. We arrived at the theatre early and Craig went off backstage and I had an hour to kill, so grabbed a glass of wine and read a book. 2 mins later I found myself chatting to a woman in her 80s and her friend a man in his late 70s. They were Diana and Bill. Diana had lost her husband two weeks earlier and this was her first social outing since then. As we sipped Pinot Grigio I found out so much about her marriage and life and was struck by her beautiful spirit, strength and sense of purpose. It inspired me. Bill had been a flight attendent and we chatted about classic broadway shows, he’d seen Judy, Merman the lot. He’d lead a wonderful life tinged with sadness at losing a true love in the 1960s to a closeted marriage and never fully embracing his sexuality until he felt “it was too late”. These two people in that short space of time profoundly touched me. So much so after the show I wanted to find them, introduce them to Craig and get their addresses to write to them. Alas at the end of the show I couldn’t find them, but I was touched by their candour and their kindness and their true sense of knowing exactly who they are.

In a world where we can communicate in so many different ways. Nothing is more effective than just sitting down and listening to someone. Everyone has a story to tell, be a listener! You’ll be surprised you’ll really learn something.