We live in a world where we can access what we want when we want it. We know more about our friends and peers lives and can connect with them across the world so easily. The world has truly shrunk in terms of connecting with people which is truly an amazing thing. However has our reliance on social media also given us a dependency? Are we living in a world where Validation on social media is taking over our lives?
In a world where we can see what everyone is doing via social media, our friends new car, house, lover, last meal they had today, is this enhancing the “keeping up with the Jones'” mentality, best personified in 1950s surbubia? How often do we scroll through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and see someone on an exotic holiday, usually presided by “drinking champagne in the first class lounge” and we feel insignificant. Or even annoyed or jealous or scathing. You may think oh I wish I was there rather than watching Nashville with a cup of tea and a custard cream. Or friends and acquaintances post those gym photos and you think “oh I’m fat, I shouldn’t really have had those custard creams”. Or those loved up pics and you think “damn I’m getting old, I must really blitz tinder/grindr/eharmony/Christian singles (delete as appropriate). I think we’ve all been there at one time or another.
What we forget is that we are only seeing a perceived reality that people want to share. It is often what we don’t see that is more telling. I’m more than guilty than most of sharing a good pouty selfie on Instagram but if I am really honest with myself sometimes I do that for approval and validation. You’ve had a rubbish day, take a selfie, people tell you that your handsome, you feel better. The question really is why do you need others approval to feel good about yourself?
The art of being secure is having faith that everything will work out fine, and real love for oneself. The moment you stop basing your happiness on others approval is the moment you really start living. You’d be surprised the amount of great people head your way that accept you for you.
So next time you scroll through Facebook and have those feelings of “oh those abs”, “they got married and I’ve not dated in six months” or “how do they afford that holiday” have a word with yourself. Why do you care? That’s their path not yours. Remember the good things about you and you know what those abs can wait, have another custard cream and remember you are bloody brilliant.
Oh and rather than judging from afar, pick up the phone, ring that friend, chat away and realise what’s truly important , good times with good friends. Social media can’t make up for real relationships and great times with family and friends. So step away from the laptop, and go and drink a glass of Pinot Grigio with that good friend who always made you laugh and chat honestly and openly, and have fun.