I can’t, I should, I have no time, people will think I’m ridiculous, it’s very selfish, I have commitments.. How often do we have this verbal dialogue in our head when an opportunity arises or when that niggling “I wish I had” plays out. I often find these moments when watching Nashville or gossip girl or some drama aimed at people much younger than myself.
Why do we not just go “hell yeah I’m doing that and I’m going to do it now”. Well sometimes we don’t for legitimate reasons like money (otherwise I’d be sipping champagne with Naomi on P Diddy’s yacht). However more often than not we don’t take some of life’s challenges or do the things we want to do because quite simply we believe we can’t do them, we don’t deserve them or we worry about what people will think. It feels so much safer to live in the comfort zone of our day to day.
We remember and replay in our minds things that teachers, parents, partners, friends and that drunk girl in the nightclub said to us and we believe that to be our reality. We often forget that these comments are often flippantly said and quickly forgotten by the perpetrators, but those words can stay with us for a lifetime. So you think I want to go to hip hop dance class but at youth theatre I was told I couldn’t dance and had no rhythm (that’s a personal one for me). Or you believe yourself to be ugly and fat, why because an abusive ex partner told you so. You stop yourself from going for that promotion, why because someone once said you’d amount to nothing. Is it interesting how theses beliefs can sink into our subconscious and become what we think are our reality. We also forget all the amazing things people say to us, it’s like a hundred people in a room tell you that you are amazing but one turns round and tells you that you are stupid. Most people would remember the stupid comment rather than all the others.. It’s like we feel we are not good enough for praise.. Let’s tone it down before we get too big for our boots. Forget that know you are amazing, stay humble though you don’t want to lose perspective like Kanye.
So what are your limiting beliefs? What do you believe to be true about you? Get a notebook, any notebook be it leather embossed with a family crest or splashed with pictures of Harry Styles it really doesn’t matter. Open the notebook and write down ten things you believe are true about yourself. Be it, I’m no good at relationships, I can’t lose weight, I can’t sing.. Whatever they are write them down! Then ask yourself do you know that to be the truth or are you just believing what others have said. Do you want to do these things? Ask yourself honestly, you might think actually I don’t want to go bungee jumping but I do want to be promoted. Or your love of painting that you’ve not done such 15 is something that you really want to pick up.
Look at that list, really look it and imagine those words are people. Take a deep breath and tell them you are breaking up with them. Every morning as you brush your teeth, say (aloud or in your head as flat mates may worry) “I am breaking up with negative thoughts about myself and negative thoughts about others”. Putting it simply “ain’t nobody got time for that”.
We can let perceived truths rule our lives, we can use those words to justify our choices and decisions. Ask yourself truly and honestly though are you happy. If you’re not and want to change take baby steps in the right direction. Happiness is now, so go out dance in the rain and grasp it and be the most authentic you!
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