What is important to you? What are the things that you want people to say about you? We can choose how we define ourselves and we can choose to see things in our own terms. So often we define ourselves by things, cars, houses, bags, the latest play station etc or we define ourselves by things we’ve done “when I back packed through Peru” or “I work in the city”. Now they may be things we do or things we own, but are they really who we are??
In the world of social media we can also easily define ourselves into roles that we deem as important, business executive,gym bunny, father, mother, hipster, club kid, organic chef a la Gwyneth and so many more. Are these really who we are? Are these things we really love or are they things that make us fit into a nice box to be defined by others. Nothing wrong with any of the above, but how often do we do things for us, rather than because it’s the norm or expected or you want to fit in?
The psychologist Beck wrote that it is not what happens in life that defines us but how we deal with it. You find people with charmed lives who constantly play the victim, those first world problems of kitchen refits, no focaccia at the deli and the cleaner who just won’t clean the way you want them too. You can also have people who have suffered deep tragedies and hard ships and choose to see the positivity in every day.
For me I like to define myself by my actions, we are all constantly learning and I’d like to be defined by how I treat people. If at times it’s not great I’d like people to keep me in check.
We can so easily be overwhelmed by the day to day so take some time to appreciate those people who are always there. The ones that don’t care if you have put on a pound or ten, who don’t care if you haven’t been skiing, or if you are having a tough time.
It’s very easy particularly in the media world to be swept up by the supposed glamour of it all. To think all your colleagues are your best friends (they might be, they might not be). It’s easy to think that their is no world outside television, well there is. Remember those that have supported you and those that continue to, remain true to your values. Define yourself however the heck you want to but make sure it’s your definition not anyone else’s.
I discovered the amazingly inspirational Lizzie Velasquez on Twitter and she sums up wonderfully in this TED talk how to define oneself. Watch and enjoy.