“I think you’d be great at that job?” My friend said to be as we put the world to rights over a glass of wine and a bowl of fries.. Not our most healthy evening but a good friend and great conversation can leave you feeling empowered. A couple of days later I sat down to write my application, I went through the job spec, and my instant reaction was “oh I don’t have that, I can’t do that, why did she think I could do that job”. I’ll look at that application later I told myself. Suddenly those book shelves needed dusting, the bathroom floor needed mopping and those cupboards that had been totally fine for weeks needed reorganising. I was procrastinating to my best ability.. Combined with the wonderful world of social media I could find a million excuses to not do what I was supposed to do? But why was I doing this? I could easily fill in the application form, I am sure I could do the job, but there was my inner voice saying “you ain’t good enough for this” and then when I thought about getting the job I felt like I’d almost be a fake, and would be easily rumbled by everyone. Foolish I know but that upsetting the status quo stopped me from applying which I later kicked myself about..
It’s interesting people talk about fear of failure but often it’s fear of success which reigns predominately in people’s heads.. Why? Because if you are successful, things change, you become more accountable, people will react differently to you and your relationships will change. What we neglect to tell ourselves that this is always for the better. The journey we take in life should have been many twists and turns and at each turn a lesson should be learnt, you don’t want your whole life to be like being stuck on an escalator never getting to the first floor, do you??
The things that you want to change, often fuelled by the perceived wonderful lives your friends are having, dance around your head like moths at a window banging against the glass. You are so consumed by what’s not there you forget about the great qualities you have. There is so much i should and I want rather than I do and I am… Because if I change the way things are then I’m out of my comfort zone and your head is filled with what ifs.. Think less about what’s gone before and where you should be in six months time and ask yourself what can I do today.. Even if it’s just one simple thing then do it and then congratulate yourself, then set a goal for tomorrow and before you know it your life has transformed without you even realising it.
There is a song by Paula Cole called “Me” and there is a line in there that says, ” It’s me who makes the monsters, me who stoops my confidence”. You deserve success, all of you do, with that comes hard work but don’t be deterred by your internal saboteur.. Simply say hell yeah I’ll give it a go!
Don’t be frightened by success, know yourself, stay focused and determined, and persevere.. Learn from it all and you’ll get where you need to go!